I’ve been there. I was just strolling through life, doing fine. Then all of a sudden, something hit me straight upside the head, like a lemon being thrown from a monkey in a tree. It hurt, it stung my eyes, my ego was beyond bruised, and I wanted to do nothing more than go hide and cry.
Relationship status change…
Emotional / Physical Trauma…
Death of a loved one…
And I was expected to suck it up and continue on, be happy, love my life.
You’ve felt it too, haven’t you? Yep! I knew it!
See, as I slowly got up and put my big-girl pants on, I realized that sometimes it is necessary to actually have some of these “adventures” / “challenges” / “experiences”. Whatever way you choose to look at them, there they are. And guess what? They are yours. And what you choose to do with them can determine whether you’ll love your life or not.
Here’s how I chose to address those adventures.
I am grateful for each of my adventures. Even though they are really hard to go through at the time, I know being grateful for the adventure helps me be a stronger person. By being grateful, I can acknowledge that some part of me actually created this adventure, even if it wasn’t done intentionally. That leads me to the next step.
2. Take Responsibility and Apologize.
Some of these adventures didn’t work out so great for me and/or for others. I have been able to apologize to MYSELF for allowing me to be in situations that weren’t ideal. This takes me out of the “being a victim” mentality and lets me move forward by taking responsibility for my actions. It also allows me to learn from the mistakes I have made, so I don’t have to keep repeating them over and over again.
Taking that responsibility also allows me to apologize to others for my part of what didn’t work out so well. Whether others accept my apology is not up to me, but I can then move forward.
3. Forgive Myself and Others
In general, forgiveness is such a tough act in our lives. And to forgive ourselves is almost unthinkable.
We continually berate ourselves for things that have happened in the past, which only continues to replay these events over and over in our minds. We create beliefs about ourselves that just aren’t true. It’s time to let those go.
I have learned that when I forgive myself for my actions and forgive others for their actions, I live more peacefully. At that point, I am releasing pain, anger, self-doubt, judgment, disappointment, heartache, etc. I choose to let those go. There just isn’t room in my life for all of that negativity.
And then I can move on even more.
4. Love Me Unconditionally
Whoa, that is a really hard one, and I am not always perfect at loving me.
Bottom line, I am very aware that in order to receive love from anyone or to be able to give love to anyone, I have to love me first. I have to give to me and receive from me.
This means taking time to be healthy mentally, physically and emotionally. Creating an atmosphere that I love being in. Finding people I love being around. Taking “Me Time”. Making a conscious choice to love my life.
How Does It All Fit Together?
For me, some of these have taken longer to get through than others. As feelings of self-doubt or sadness arise, I allow the thought, then repeat the following mantras in my mind:
Please Forgive Me
I Love You
They can be repeated as many times as necessary, in a quiet space, or going throughout my day. Acknowledging the thoughts allows me to release them sooner, rather than feeling sorry for myself for long periods of time.
I didn’t make all of this stuff up. I learned this from one of my mentors, Dr. Joe Vitale, from his book Zero Limits: The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace & More. (This blog post contains affiliate links and any purchase made through such links will result in a small commission for me.) My interpretation of this book actually taught me how to love my life. It may have taken a while to get there, and sometimes I need to go back for a refresher – but if someone were to ask me if I love my life, my answer would absolutely be yes. Life is too magical not to love it.
So be grateful for the adventure, be sorry for not paying attention, forgive the monkey, and make something wonderful that you love from those lemons.
Big hugs and lots of love to you,
P.S. As you go through your own adventures, how do you or will you choose to love your life?